First Kisses
by Zip Goes A Million
Summary: Tom and Sybil are discussing their first kisses, but Sybil and Tom each admit something to shock the other. Tensions rise and tensions fall.


**First Kisses**

Sybil and Tom had been going out for almost three years and living together for over a year and they were very happy in their relationship. They enjoyed their time together and bounced off each other's personalities in such a way that they always continued to grow as people when they were with one another. Nothing about their relationship was static. They often spent their evenings talking through the good and the bad from their days at work, getting advice from one another and providing the love and support that had always been such an important part of their relationship.

This evening saw the two of them sitting on their bed in their pyjamas before the sun had even had a chance to set. Tom was wearing plain navy cotton pyjama bottoms with no top, exposing the muscles of his arms, back and chest to Sybil. Sybil was wearing an old pale purple button-down shirt of Tom's, which was far too big for her, with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, which she coupled only with a pair of black lacy knickers, barely visible beneath the excess fabric of the shirt.

Sybil was sitting cross-legged on the centre of the bed, and Tom was lying on his side across the bed, facing her. Their conversation had transitioned from talking about their days (Tom had finally finished three articles, and Sybil had spent much more of her hospital shift than normal sitting around without much to do) to talking about their past relationships. Tom had posed a question about Sybil's first kiss, which she refused to answer.

"Come on, Syb!" Tom teased with a smile, sitting up to face her. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Because it didn't mean anything," she laughed, trying to avoid Tom's hands tickling her sides.

"Please will you tell me? Pretty please," he begged, giving Sybil his best impression of puppy-dog eyes.

"Why does it matter?" Sybil sighed, moving away from him slightly.

"If you tell me the story of your first kiss, I'll tell you mine," Tom suggested as an incentive.

"I already know the story of your first kiss," Sybil protested. "You were fourteen and you were at your first house party and you kissed the girl you'd had a crush on for years, and then she blanked you for weeks and made you feel worthless."

"Way to bring up painful memories!" Tom laughed.

"You're the one who started this conversation!" Sybil chuckled.

"Oh, go on Sybil, please. Is it embarrassing? Is that why? I promise I won't laugh," he probed, trying everything he could to get the information out of his girlfriend.

"Fine," Sybil said with a groan and an eye roll, which Tom had become accustomed to in their arguments. "His name was Charlie West and we were about six years old. It was in school in the library. Every afternoon just before school ended, our teacher would read to us for five minutes or so before the bell went. She finished one book the day before, so she sent Charlie and me into the library to choose the next one."

Tom was smiling at the story, finding it sweet that Sybil's first kiss was when she was so young. He imagined her when she was six years old. She probably had the same messy hair and the same bright blue eyes and sunny smile, but he imagined her to have a plumper face and redder cheeks. He wished he'd known her when they were children.

"The only place in the library where you couldn't be seen from the door," she continued, "was right behind the big bookshelf in the middle. We didn't want anyone walking by to see us, so we went behind there, pretending to look for books, and we kissed."

Sybil looked up at Tom, almost guiltily, as if kissing Charlie all those years ago had been a way of cheating on Tom.

"Was it love at first sight?" Tom teased cheerily, leaning down to kiss Sybil's knee, as if claiming her for his own, despite her rendezvous with little Charlie West being two decades ago.

Sybil laughed at his tone and said, "No, I was only six! And besides, I didn't know the name for it at the time, but he was a womanizer. Every girl in the year wanted to kiss Charlie and practically every girl in the year _did_ kiss Charlie."

Tom laughed, but couldn't help the pang of jealousy that spread through his veins. He had never heard of this Charlie West before, which probably meant that Sybil rarely thought about him and wasn't still in touch with him, but that didn't stop the sense of possession he suddenly felt for Sybil. It wasn't a feeling he was proud of – Sybil wasn't something to be owned – but it was a feeling he couldn't ignore.

"But he was very good at making you feel like you were the only girl he would ever even dream of kissing. All of us girls loved him. We were all devastated when he moved school a few years later."

"Quite the charmer," Tom said with a smirk, hiding the fact that he was glad that Sybil had lost contact with him.

"He certainly was. He grew up into a really nice gentleman actually. I think he's living in New Zealand now."

"If he comes back to England am I going to have some competition?" Tom teased, a certain growl present in his voice.

"Never," Sybil said with a smile, looking Tom lovingly in the eyes. "He'd have to be pretty damn spectacular to beat you. And besides I'm pretty sure he's in a steady relationship now, so he's off limits just as much as I am."

She leant forward to kiss Tom. The kiss was languid and passionate, as Tom's hand crept up Sybil's back, beneath her shirt. Sybil wrapped her arms around Tom's back where her nails lightly scratched his back muscles and shoulder blades. When they broke the kiss their breathing was heavy, but not frantic. They remained close and Tom left his hand on Sybil's lower back.

"So how do I compare to all of your kisses of the past?" he asked lightly.

The question caught Sybil off guard, but she said, "Well you're better than six year old Charlie. But comparing you to a six year old is hardly fair."

"What about your other kisses?" he asked, placing a gentle quick kiss on Sybil's full lips.

Sybil leant back slightly and looked away from Tom, her hands falling into her lap as her breath hitched in her throat.

Tom's eyes narrowed into an inquisitive frown as he slowly came to understand Sybil's meaning. "You mean, you've never kissed anyone else?"

Sybil shook her head gently and looked into her lap, not wanting to admit the truth to Tom. She knew that he had had girlfriends before, but she had managed to hide from him thus far that she had been single her whole life until she had met him and fallen instantly in love.

"But we didn't meet until–" Tom said, sitting back and taking his hands away from his girlfriend's body.

"I was twenty three and you were twenty four, I know," Sybil interrupted. "If you discount Charlie, which you absolutely should because it was nothing more than a playground romance, then I didn't kiss anyone until I was twenty three. You were my first kiss. My _only_ kiss," she said timidly, still unwilling to look Tom in the eyes.

"I can't believe it," Tom said in a stunned whisper. "I always had the impression that there were loads of men chasing after you."

"There were, especially when I was in my late teens," Sybil explained. "But the feelings were never reciprocated until I met you."

She finally met his gaze, only to see that his expression was that of a sad smile, which Sybil took as pity.

"How many girls have you kissed then?" she asked defensively, turning the tables, knowing the figure for him would be bigger than the figure for her, but hoping that the difference wouldn't be too significant.

"I don't know. I lost count at around thirty," he said, with a pang of guilt in his voice.

"Thirty?" Sybil repeated, much louder than she had intended. "You've kissed more than thirty girls?"

"Probably somewhere around forty or fifty," he said quietly, bracing himself for her reaction.

Sybil shimmied off the bed and walked to the other side of the small room. Tom knew better than to follow her and try to make amends with physical contact and whispered sweet nothings.

"How come I never knew this?" she shrieked. "Forty girls?"

"It wasn't important," Tom said, sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees, wishing that the conversation hadn't taken the turn it did. "A lot of them were just snogs at parties or at clubs," he said.

"I can't believe you were one of _those guys_!" Sybil cried, crossing her arms and pacing up and down the far side of the room, letting the emotion pour out of her.

"One of _what guys_?" he protested, becoming defensive himself now.

"The men who kiss girls at clubs, never to be seen or heard again," Sybil said. "Do you know how many of my girl-friends have foolishly allowed their hearts to be taken at a club on a drunken night out, only to be mercilessly torn in two before the night ended?" she shouted.

Tom took a breath to say something, but Sybil didn't stop her flow of words for him.

"Do you know what sort of heartbreak you've likely left behind your drunken nights out? An attractive guy with a sexy accent, who's a good kisser – Tom, it's no wonder every girl pounced on you, you're what every girl looks for. But do you know why girls get put off the popular guys with the good looks? Because men like you dangle a carrot right in front of them and tear it away when they thought it was within arm's reach," she half-shouted, fighting back tears.

"Syb, I was stupid. I know I was. My sisters have told me all of this before," he said.

"I can't believe I never knew you were like that, Tom," she said, as she turned to walk out of the room.

"Wait, Sybil," Tom called as he hurried off the bed and ran to her side. He took her waist and spun her to look at him. From past arguments, Tom knew that letting Sybil come out of her rage on her own was usually the best option, but their arguments had never been this intense. He couldn't let her walk away without at least trying to calm her and make amends.

As she turned, he saw that she was no longer able to fight back the tears. A few had fallen down her cheeks and were dripping onto her collar.

"I was a jerk, I know. My sisters told me what they really thought of me, and by the time I left uni, I hadn't been involved with anyone – not even a kiss – for at least six months. I stopped letting myself feel anything because I was terrified that I might hurt someone too badly. It took me at least a year before I let myself feel anything for anyone again, and then I met you."

Sybil was suddenly much calmer and she allowed more tears to fall.

"Syb, love, when I met you, I couldn't stop myself from feeling something for you. I fell head over heels in love with you within seconds. When I started going out with you, you have no idea how terrified I was that I might hurt you. That's why I made sure to go slow, so that I wouldn't accidentally scare you off or scare myself off and leave you in the lurch. The thought of losing you terrified me."

Sybil tried to stop her tears and allowed Tom to pull her closer to him.

"I know that I was a horrible person for a while. I know that I kissed too many girls and probably broke too many hearts in the process," Tom said softly. "But none of that matters now, Syb. That's all in the past and I'm a different person now. I fell for you so hard, Sybil, that I've never felt anything like what I feel for you. I'm so completely in love with you that if I ever did anything to hurt you I could never forgive myself for it. You're my whole world."

Sybil's cheeks were streaked with the paths forged by her tears of anger. Tom kissed the salty tears off her rosy cheeks and then kissed her lips, gently and passionately.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "that I never told you about the girls I kissed before, I really am. But I think you ought to know that you're the only woman I've ever had sex with."

Sybil's eyes widened and her mouth fell open, shocked at the new information.

"Wait, are you serious?" she asked in disbelief.

Tom nodded. "I've known lots of girls in my time," he said. "But you're the only one I've ever felt completely comfortable around."

"But you've had other girlfriends before," Sybil said, still surprised at what she had just learned about her long-term boyfriend. How had she not known this before?

"Yes," Tom said, running his fingers along Sybil's waist and up her back, "but never one like you."

He paused to admire Sybil's features, exploring her face with his eyes and her curves with his fingers. He knew exactly what was beneath that purple shirt and those lacy knickers, but he would never tire of exploring her body.

"You are the prettiest," he said, softly kissing her cheek, "the brightest," he kissed her jawline, "the best woman," he kissed beneath her ear lobe, "I could ever," he kissed her temple, "ever," he kissed her nose, "imagine," he kissed her lips gently, lingering there just a little longer than necessary. "I love you more than you know," he whispered.

Before he had a chance to kiss her, Sybil had wrapped his arms around his neck gently and pulled him down to her for a slow, lingering kiss. Everything in her that had been tense only five minutes previously was now relaxed. Her shoulders dropped and her body fell into the safe grasp of her boyfriend, as she subconsciously let go of all her worries. Nothing in the world seemed to matter other than the two of them being together, being close, being _them_.

Tom kept one hand on Sybil's waist, but moved the other to her chin, holding it up gently with his fingers as her jaw opened slightly to allow their tongues to collide.

"I'm sorry," Sybil said when they broke apart. "I'm sorry that I got angry."

"I'm sorry I was a jerk," Tom said. "Will you let me make it up to you?"

Sybil kissed Tom in answer and ran her hands over his chest.

-ooo-

Half an hour later, they lay side by side in silence. Words were unnecessary. All of their emotions had been expressed and despite a bit of tension still in the air, their love was expressed with their closeness.

"I love you," Tom said. "I really do."

"I love you too," Sybil said, "even if you were a jerk."

"Hey!" he protested with a small laugh.

Sybil took hold of Tom's hand. "But you're not that person anymore. And I love you for who you are now."

Tom kissed Sybil's temple. He didn't need to say anything else. He loved her and she knew it. He hadn't been the best person he could have been in the past, but now Sybil made him the best he could be. He was better for having her around and he would do anything to not let her go.

* * *

 _Just a bit of fun. This has been sitting around for a while because I wasn't sure where I wanted it to go. In the end I decided to skip the smut. I just thought I'd never see it come to fruition, so I kind of gave up on it. But I hope you enjoyed the story anyway._


End file.
